I have to admit, I was pretty lazy in regards to the game since the pandemic began. I was unsuccessfully working on getting new lays, making stupid extraction and escalation mistakes while my MFM buddy Black Ring was having a streak of hookups. I felt like an underachiever in the field.
And then the pandemic hit.
Suddenly I was a king. With the city in a lockdown and the game cancelled for weeks, the majority of city players were going through a massive draught while I had two regular girls in the rotation. Nice 20 yo Canadian MLTR and a double penetrated Puppy as a side dish. Both girls were hitting me up for a meetup as soon as strict restrictions were lifted.
Fast forward to now. Puppy slowly floated away following our sex club visit (which is a topic for a different report). I became more infatuated with Canadian as we started to do more couple activities. She would come to my place and cook us a three course dinner. Then we went to the weekend camping trip. I became lazy.
Black Ring kept nagging me, calling me armchair PUA and telling me I will be screwed if I lose my girls because of the SMP situation in Sydney amid pandemic. He was right about at least one thing. The sexual marketplace turned from bad to the worse.
Foreign students, backpackers and tourists, the bread and butter of the daygamers in the city, were gone. Foot traffic downtown reduced tenfold. Convenient nightgame is practically impossible with the social distancing rules and a requirement to remain seated in bars and pubs. And online. Well, I don’t have to tell you about that.
Anyway, back to the story.
It was my birthday. Black Ring suggested we and the boys go the stand up comedy event hosted by a non-monogamous MILF he knew (let’s call her M.). At the entrance to the club there was that black girl (let’s call her B.) who was checking tickets. Apparently she was working for M. as a promoter for the event. She looked like she’s in her mid to late 20s, with big boobs, average arse and a flabby belly.
The night went well. Although everyone had to keep their arses glued to the couches and chairs, the comedians were decent, despite the fact that every single one of them ended up with dysfunctional relationships, bad sex and dating disasters topics.
At the end of the night Black Ring was about to give me and another guy lift back home. It turned out B. lived in the city as well so she tagged along with us. In the car she kept nagging about how we all should go somewhere and continue the party. We all pretty much ignored her. Although I like to party, I was on a one month drinking wagon challenge so I was more interested in having a good night sleep.
Black Ring dropped B. and then drove me home. It looked like she live around 15 minutes walk from my place.
Fast forward to last weekend. Black Ring bough a couple of tickets to the next comedy show on Sunday evening. The goal was to go there and introduce me to the DJ MILF who has connections in the local scene. We caught up in the pub, had a dinner and a beer, smoked cigars and went to the comedy night.
B. was at the entrance, checking the tickets. We got drinks and took a sit on a couch in the front row to watch the show. M. and her blondie MILF co-host (let’s call her C.) started the show by cracking unfunny jokes and drinking vodka from the bottle on stage. I thought it was a prop but later in the night it turned out the vodka was real.
B. situated herself on the couch next to ours and filmed the show on her phone. I noticed IOIs coming my way. When I turned and looked at her, she commented on my accent. IOIs have been upgraded to high interest.
When B. disappeared, M. and C. took a sit on her couch, taking all the space. Me and Black Ring were socially distancing on our couch so when B. came back with another drink, she sat on our couch in between us. IOIs, the accent opener and now she put herself in my close proximity. This moment I made a decision to go ahead and attempt to fuck that chick. My standards are pretty low and, although she barely met them, she was interested, she was available and, most of all, she was black. And I never fucked a black girl before.
I let Black Ring know about my intentions. M., who lives across the street from the comedy club, was planning to have drinks at her place with C. and B. after the show and since Black Ring knows M. really well, we devised a plan. We were going to weasel ourselves to have a drink with them and Black Ring would give me and B. a ride back home. On a way back, I will jump out of the car together with B. and make my move.
We hung out at the club, waiting for M., C. and B. to finish their business, and then walked across the road to M.’s place. Bottles of fake prop turned out real vodka went on the table, we had a few drinks and Black Ring started to play a song on a piano while I was sitting at the kitchen table and chatting to B. She was downing vodka like there’s no tomorrow.
Eventually M. put on a Spotify playlist and Black Ring, M. and C. started to do a crazy dance in the kitchen. I filmed this hilarity on my phone and so did B. The time was close to the midnight when M. wrapped up the party. Black Ring offered C. a lift as well but she chose to call an Uber. Me, Black Ring and B. walked to the car. After a short drive he dropped us off in the city and drove off.
“Hey, let’s go have one more drink. There’s a pub nearby,” I suggested. B. agreed and I walked her across the park while she was hanging on my arm. She was carded at the pub and since she didn’t have an ID on her, the bouncer kicked us out. The same story happened at the next pub.
“Hey, I leave around the corner here and I have a bottle of whiskey. Let’s go have a drink at mine instead.”
“Why didn’t you tell,” she replied, “I really need to pee.”
“Ok. Let’s go then.”
I couldn’t believe she just used a classic RooshV’s toilet weasel on me. The whole unsuccessful pub crawl was completely unnecessary. To my place we went.
I dropped a text to Black Ring while she was in the toilet to update him on a successful pull. He suggested I pull back and let her escalate instead.
I didn’t expect to have a brand new chick at my place so I wasn’t prepared. I was glad I stashed a bottle of Jack Daniels a week before. If I didn’t have any alcohol, the lay would fell through. I only had a bottle of San Pelegrino for a mixer. She started snooping around my fridge and kitchen shelves.
“What are you looking for, “ I asked.
“Do you have any coke?”
“No, I only have this,” I pointed to the mineral water.
“You should have some coke,” she replied while continuing scouting my kitchen.
I got really annoyed.
“Ok. Stay here and don’t touch anything,” I said, “I will go downstairs and grab some coke.”
I left her at my place and went to the 24/7 tobacco shop downstairs to buy a bottle of cola.
When I returned, I found her sitting on the couch with four books from my shelf which she obviously scouted as well. Apparently she liked to read. The books were “Minimalism”, “Mindset”, “Get High Without Drugs” and “The Natural” by Richard LaRuina. I have to say, LaRuina’s book was sitting on my shelf next to “Daygame Mastery”, “Daygame Infinite”, “Pick Up Artist”, “The Mystery Method” and “101 Sex Positions Bible”.
“I need to borrow one to read,” she said, “I just don’t know which one.”
“I am not giving you any of that two,” I said, “Pick “Minimalism” or “Mindset.”
She chose “Mindset”.
We had drinks and I run my regular routine of showing her how to play a vinyl record on a turntable. I made a note for the next time to get a record I don’t care about for this purpose as she was dragging the needle across the nice house track back and forth.
“Do you have anything slow,” she asked.
The level of my annoyance had jumped a few points.
“No. I have house, techno and trance. Pick any of 2000 records I have.”
“I want something slow,” she said.
I knew, I was going to regret this lay but I was determined to get that flag no matter what.
I pulled my phone and put on some chillout radio on the bluetooth speaker.
“Can you dim the light. It’s too bright,” she asked.
Holy fuck, mother of god. She didn’t like my booze. She didn’t like my music. And now she was complaining about the light. I turned off everything except a bedroom lamp so we were sitting practically in the dark.
Shittests were flowing a plenty.
Standard.
“How old you actually are?”
“How many girls did you sleep with?”
Etc, etc…
And a pinnacle of it all.
“Can I ask you something? You can go to the bathroom and masturbate. Why do you really want to be with a girl?”
Haven’t got that one before.
“It was really nice that you bought me a coke,” she eventually said.
Finally. A compliment.
I sat next to her on the couch and did the light kino. I was going to follow Black Ring’s advice and let her escalate.
She notices the two motorcycle helmets on the shelf.
“Why do you have these if you don’t have a bike”, she asked.
“How do you know,” I answered, “My bike in the parking lot.”
Bloody hell. She was really dumb for a girl who likes to read books about the mindset. What did she think? Am I suppose to keep my motorcycle at my apartment?
“You should take me for a ride.”
“We’ll see.” (Not gonna fucking happen).
Eventually, when the moment was right, I went for a kiss. Oh horrors. She was a horrible kisser. Like really, really bad.
I tried to reach out to her boobs but she rejected the move.
“I can’t do it,” she said, “I prefer it to be at my place. It more comfortable there.”
My level of annoyance was approaching the tipping point. I was about to flip and throw her out of my apartment. Thankfully the prospects of getting the rare and exotic flag under my belt have calmed me down.
“Let’s go to you place then,” I suggested.
“No, I want to stay the night here,” she replied.
“Ok. Then give me your phone number.” She did.
Nice, I though to myself. If I am to claim this flag, I have to endure this bullshit till the morning. And I had to start work at 9 am the next day. I made us a couple of more drinks in the kitchen.
After having a few sips, I went back to kissing her on a couch and resumed my attempts to get her boobs out. She resisted for a short while and then suggested we play rock-paper-scissoirs for the clothing items. Allright, let’s have it your way.
I lost my shirt, my watch and a bracelet before I realised she was always playing rock. She managed to correct herself before her pants went off and I lost the game. Oh well, whatever. But, suddenly, she grabbed her t-shirt and put it back on.
Fuck me dead. We were back at square one.
It was getting really late, I given up on trying to fuck her and I was hoping to get a few hours of sleep before work so I told her I was going to sleep. I went to the bedroom, switched off the light and got under the blanket. She joined me.
I turned to her and start kissing and grabbing her boobs and arse. The resistance has magically disappeared. She was taking it.
“Do you have a condom,” she asked.
I took the condom out of the bedside drawer and put it on. She took off her panties. And then the horror started. Black Ring later gave it a “refugee camp sex” nickname.
She was lying on her side when I put my dick in her pussy and she started to ”snake”. I don’t have a better word to describe it. She was snaking on the bed trying to put her into the position pleasurable for her while taking my hand to her clit and using it to rub it the way she liked. All her snaking was causing my dick to be pushed out of her vagina and I struggled to use the sheer force to hold her arse so I could actually fuck her.
I felt like a human dildo.
This bedroom wrestling session continued until she came. After the short break we continued the wrestling session until I got exhausted from fighting her snaking and pulled out and lied on my back to catch a breath.
“You came,” she said. Not sure if it was a question.
“No, I didn’t,” I replied.
“Yes, you came,” she said.
I took off the condom and threw it across the room. Finally the mystery of guys faking orgasms was solved. Doesn’t matter. Two strokes were done. The lay was claimed. I could go to sleep in peace.
Not so fast. She turned out to be some fucking nympho or something and initiated yet another wrestling session. But now I was determined to get mine. I managed to pin her on her back and fucked her vigorously until I blew my load all over her huge boobs.
She went to the shower. I told her that I have to work in the morning and we should really get some sleep and turned my back on her. It was probably three in the morning.
She woke me up at seven for yet another wrestling match. Holy crap. After we were done she finally told me, she’s going to go and let me get ready for work. She got dressed, grabbed the “Mindset” book and left.
I felt like a zombie. I only had three hours of sleep. I was still feeling the whiskey. And I had to start work in a couple of hours.
Later in the day I sent her a damage control text to which she replied in the evening. She said she went to her sister’s place and slept all day. I immediately sent her another message to which I never got a reply which is exactly what I wanted. I don’t want to see this girl ever again.
Achievements unlocked: new flag (Sudan), new continent (Africa), first black girl, first Muslim girl
Yoylo PUA 