Month: November 2019

Intro: This teleclass was a mix of ideas from NLP (including timelines) and systems thinking. If you’ve never dealt with NLP before, some ideas here might make little or no sense to you. Good introductory book on NLP is “Introducing NLP” by Joseph O’Connor and John Seymour. Now, to the notes.

1. Always have an outcome.
2. Have sensory acuity to know if we are going there.
3. Have enough flexibility of behaviour to get what we want.
4. Take action and put it into practice.

If something doesn’t work, accept it and instead of applying more force to push it, do something else. Use the law of requisite variety. We need to do something differently.

Where do you beat you head against the wall?

We need an evidence procedure to know if something works or not. You need to have a short feedback loop to know if it’s working or not.

1. Set your goal in positive.
2. Have an evidence procedure.
3. It should be something we have control over and can take action on.

Test a lot of thing and don’t get attached to something that is not working.

Efficiency, effectiveness and productivity MUST be measurable. Have a way to measure it. Have metrics you can MEASURE.

Do not confuse ACTIVITY with PRODUCTIVITY! Productivity is outcome directed activity. Only effective and efficient action counts. Only goal (outcome) directed activity counts.

How much of what I do is a meaningless activity?

Remember ⁸⁰⁄₂₀ rule. 80% of your results comes from 20% of what you do. It can be even ⁹⁵⁄₅ rule. Measure in your day what’s producing results and what’s not.

If you want to add something to your life, you have to take something out. It is what you are doing (also thinking and feeling) when you are not doing what you need to be doing if where the problem is.

What do you need to give up to get what you really want?

Task: Make a list of all the things in your life you are doing that don’t produce results. What do you need to do instead?

Side note: Put an elite team together using ⁸⁰⁄₂₀ rule. They will outperform all the competition. You need to know what creates results and focus more on it.

People can be in-time (perceive) and through-time (judge). In-time – in the moment, change plans all the time, chronically late, spontaneous but may be irresponsibly. Through time – on-time or early, have a plan and don’t like to deviate, they might lack flexibility and spontaneity. The ideal is to be flexible enough to be both in- and through-time situationally.

We don’t really manage time, we manage ourselves.

Effort – we need to put in effort. Effectiveness (do you have results?) and Efficiency (how well does it work?) are two ways to measure it.

If what you do isn’t working, the best way out it to STOP and do something else. Only productive activity counts.

Look at the environment you work in. If there too much change, we can’t manage well. It there’s a slow change, managing is easy.

Five stages of action.

1. Wishing
2. Wanting
3. Planning
4. Doing
5. Having

Managers plan and forecast, organise resources (intellectual and emotional capital, energy, physical resources like money and assets), leading and motivating (lead and motivate yourself short and long term), coordinate and communicate (we have to interact with ourselves and other people) and measure and control (measure things, have evidence procedure).

Practice doesn’t make perfect. Only PERFECT practice make perfect. You must practice success successfully.

Communicate to everyone involved in regards to what you are doing all the time, over-communicate so everybody can reorient themselves. Keep communicating, what changes, how it is related to a bigger picture. But do it with yourself as well. Communicate with yourself too and reorient yourself in a changing world.

Wishing questions. What prevents you? What would happen if you did? Because all limitation do exist in your mind.

Wanting involves putting the energy and emotion into it. You need to imagine it in details and truly desire it. You’ve got to be totally committed. Perseverance is important and you will need energy to overcome resistance.

You must not do before you have a plan for activity to produce results.

There are four functions of planning.

1. Establish our goals, objectives and mission. We must be very clear about it. Outcomes must we well formed. Stated in positive, have evidence procedure (sensory specific).
2. Formulate strategy that will allow you to accomplish the goal. This is a sequence of actions that result in the achieving an objectives. Use short feedback loops to test actions out until you get to a strategic plan.

   Scenario planning is defining a probable future and comparing it with a coming future and decide which scenario will lead to the outcome that you want. You define warning indicators in regards to the possible future that might happen and then you set up a monitoring to notice these warning signals.

   Do it for yourself. What are the possible futures? What are the warning signs? What’s your contingency plan? What would be the sign it’s not working anymore?

3. Implement a plan.

   Most things don’t work exactly to the plan so you have to adjust.

4. Evaluate a plan in regards to results. Is it working?

   Many people sabotage themselves in the end.

Energy management in your body. You don’t really manage energy, you manage yourself.

Certain things bring energy and certain things take energy away.

Things that affect energy:

1. Food
2. Drink
3. Air
4. Impressions

Mind and body are interconnected. Positive impressions bring energy and negative impressions take the energy away. Do not take poisonous impressions as much as you won’t eat poisonous food. Put a watchman at the gates of perception.

The #1 cause of the drain of energy are tension in the body. Tension is unconscious process. Relaxation is a conscious process. Learn to relax and let go of tension.

Become aware of your tensions. Yoga is good for recognising your tension by isolating muscle groups. Do a body scan exercise to let go of tension one part of the body at a time. Tension is contagious.

Breathe from the stomach for relaxation. Breath slowly (one breath pet 5-10 seconds). Lie on your back and feel yourself heavier and heavier to relax.

Change your internal dialog, change pictures and internal dialog tone voice to control your state and your emotions.

When your inhale your heart speeds up and when you exhale your heart slows down. By varying your exhalation and inhalation speed you can either pump yourself up or relax. To relax, inhale fast and exhale slowly. To pump yourself up, inhale slowly and exhale fast.

Put a mirror under your nose and you’ll see the ratio between one of the nostrils an another. Use neti pot in the morning. Inhale hot steam with eucalyptus oil and peppermint oil.

Don’t simply take away move-away strategies unless towards is present as a replacement or they might not move at all.

Emotional intelligence session. How do deal with emotions.

1. How do you know what sort of emotion you’re having
2. How to control your own emotions
3. How to notice other people’s emotions
4. How to influence other people’s emotions

Successful people have high EQ, not the high IQ.

There’s no school in a world that teaches emotional intelligence.

Passion is very important in informational products. Passion needs to come through.

Witnessing and telling your life story is what moves people. How you’ve had the same problems that your audience and overcome it.

Emotion is a matrix of sensations in your body to which you attach a label.

There are positive and negative emotions. Positive emotions give us energy and negative emotions drain energy from us (they are connected to tensions in the body).

Emotions are an ON/OFF switch. You either associated and are experiencing them or you are dissociated and is observing from emotions from the outside.

When we store a memory, emotion is attached to the memory.

Your turn ON or OFF both negative and positive emotions. You can’t simply switch off negative and switch on positive. Both are switched on or off together.

When now on the timeline is outside of your body you are dissociated. If now is inside of your body, you are associated.

You can step in and out of NOW. Develop this ability to get in and out of emotions. Notice how you name your emotion. What is the emotion?

How to control your emotions? Yes, you can; despite what current society thinks.

Insincere is someone who can control their emotions, WFT?

It takes time to wash out hormonal chemicals that come with emotions from your body so we need to have a guardian at the gates of perception and notice the moment you start to feel the emotion and take action.

Controlling your emotions:

1. Accept a fact that you do have a control over your emotions and feelings.
2. Emotions come from the tonality of our voice that indicates the feeling about the content.
3. Emotions come from pictures. Do not take poisonous impressions in as they get recorded in your memory and can pop in into your consciousness automatically.
4. Repress expressions of negative emotions.
5. Express positive emotions.

Do decrease the intensity of all the emotions, push the NOW way out 5 – 6 steps in front of you (the further you push, the more dissociated you become). You can also try stepping to the side (left or right).

Stopping internal dialog or turn it down. You need to find an on and off switch (Bandler’s smash-the-TV metaphor).

By totally getting into the NOW you can increase associating.

Positive emotions can only be experienced in the NOW only (negative can exist in the past, like guilt; future, like anxiety; and present, like boredom). Remember to be happy, NOW. Remember to be X’d, NOW. “One day I will be happy”, doesn’t work. Think pleasant thoughts, have positive internal dialog with an upbeat tone of voice. NOW.

Positive emotion of love is inside of you and you control it so you can feel love whenever you want with whoever you want by choice.

I met Puppy online: she is cute, slightly curvy girl, in the original meaning of the word “curvy” (she is not fat), a bit under half of my age. I commented on her septum and mentioned my industrial piercing which, she said, she always wanted, and we quickly moved our conversation to WhatsApp. After a short message exchange, I scheduled a date at a fancy bar close to my place.

As a side note, my online profile hints that I’m into non-monogamy, BDSM, and sexual experimentation, so it acts as a filter for sexually adventurous girls. Those who aren’t, quickly drop out or are not interested from the beginning. I don’t want a lot of girls in the grey middle, which seems to be a problem for some guys who date online.

She arrived before me and texted me that the bar is booked for a private function. I told her to wait. I walked to the bar, grabbed her by the hand and walked to the different bar even closer to my place. Always have a plan B; know your terrain and logistics.

After only forty minutes and one drink at the bar we went to my place. In less than ten minutes we were making out. I pushed her against the wall and put my hand on her throat while guiding her hand towards my crotch. She kissed really good.

When clothes came off, I realised she looked way better naked than I’d expected: she had a pair of nice firm tits and a great butt. I fucked her standing doggy in front of a mirror while fingering her ass. She really liked being choked and getting her hair pulled. The question of condom never came up, and she only asked not to cum inside, so I blew it on her tits.

Afterward, lying naked on a bed, I started the usual routine of asking her about what she liked sexually and what her fantasies were. Apparently, I just fulfilled one—of fucking an older guy. She admitted becoming adventurous a little while ago and exploring her sexuality. She’s bi-curious and already had FMF threesome, anal sex, and bunch of other things. When she mentioned she wanted to bang two guys but never did and researched sex clubs online but never went, I knew I found the right girl.

Me and Black Ring had been nursing the MFM idea for a while and already had a failed attempt at it with his main girl, but she bailed at the end. Puppy was a perfect opportunity to go at it again.

I mentioned I’ve been to the sex club before and had some MFM experience, without going into much details and she listened with full attention. A couple of weeks later she asked me to be her mentor, establishing a Teacher-Student frame.

Although I have less experience than Black Ring, I thought he was pushing threesomes and sex parties to girls too fast and too hard. This time I decided to test the idea of pacing things slowly, using tiny little steps.

Black Ring needed to buy a certain item and it turned out that Puppy worked at a store where they sell them. Me and Black Ring decided we should show up at the store together to buy it and use it as a first introduction of Black Ring to Puppy. I already told Puppy about Black Ring and who he was and that he needed the item, so she politely offered to give him a staff discount. I like polite girls, like the girls who politely and obligingly bend over for anal.

On that day, in the morning, I went to the work conference where they were giving away stuffed toys with the company logo for promotion. I thought it would be interesting to see if I can give Puppy a toy as a present without actually giving it to her. The “nice guy,” comfort test move to counterbalance the rough treatment I was giving her in the bedroom.

Black Ring and I walked into the store; I was wearing a conference badge and had a plushy in my hand. I put a plushy on the counter before Puppy showed us the store and the items they sold. Black Ring picked his item and we left. Ten minutes later Puppy texted me a picture of a toy, asking if I forgot it. I told her to keep it. It worked perfectly.

The next step: an MFM first date. I picked that fancy bar that was booked for the private function where Puppy and I first met as a location. The idea was to link the experience back to when we had our one-on-one first date.

Puppy was about to start her period and Black Ring needed to go to work at night that day so the covert message was, it’s just a date, nothing is going to happen that night. I instructed Black Ring to show up about twenty minutes after Puppy and I met, then run his magic on her without doing any physical escalation besides light kino. We also agreed that in the middle of a date I’ll take a long bathroom break and will go buy a second round of drinks just to give Black Ring some one-on-one time with Puppy.

Puppy showed up on a date with a brand-new tattoo on her chest. First one she ever did. We had a little chat with her when player #2, Black Ring, entered. Puppy and I were sitting on the couch and Black Ring took a chair, sat in front of the Puppy, and started doing his story telling routine. Eventually he moved closer and finally sat on a couch besides Puppy so she was sitting in the middle between us.

Black Ring started a kino and Puppy responded really well by touching him back. I went to a toilet and bought a second round of overprices cocktails to give Black Ring his one-on-one time. Puppy’s attention was mostly on him as I leaned back and observed. Eventually Black Ring excused himself and left for work.

I asked Puppy if she liked him as she said yes. I said that I will organise “something” for the next week. Puppy was a bit tipsy and the vibe in bar was pretty good so I made my choke move on her and we made out on a couch.

I am not a big fan of fucking on periods so I told Puppy I will walk her to the station. She took it as a joke. Back to my place we went. Apparently, she wasn’t a fan of period fuck either so I just pulled her pants and punished her with a flogger while using a vibrator on her clit until she came. She gave me an amazing blowjob. I finished in her mouth. She swallowed every drop and we kissed.

Next day Puppy texted me with a full body massage offer. With a happy ending, of course.

A few days later I send Puppy a message saying I am planning something for Sunday at 2pm, if she’s free. Of course she is. She sent me a first nude later that day. Sex tapes are there for the taking I think.

I suggested to Black Ring that we meet at the same rooftop bar we had a failed MFM date at, have a drink and bounce to my place “for another drink” where I start things off my making out with Puppy and then telling her to kiss him. This would give us a loose plan and handle logistics.

I messaged Puppy “I organised Sunday for the three of us. Meet at the rooftop bar at 2pm.” “Great. Can’t wait,” she responded.

It was ON.

I really did just organise MFM threesome and knew she was going to show. She never missed a date, and girls don’t understand how attractive reliability is in the age of flakes. I will prioritize a girl who is reliable and less hot over a girl who is unreliable and hotter. I think most of the stories chicks post about being unable to find a guy are bullshit because the chick never takes responsibility for her own behavior.

Puppy was young but responsible and when I knew she’d arrive at the bar, shit just suddenly got real. This is where I started to freak out a little. I sold her a perfect MFM with two experienced guys when in fact we both never done it before in a private setting and I’d never done it before, period.

For a couple of days, I was spinning the scenarios about how it would play out. I completely over-thought the whole thing and it bit me in the end.

On Sunday morning Black Ring and me met to discuss the scene. I felt the need to discuss, and I was over-thinking and over-planning. Black Ring noticed how nervous I was, and that I was jacked up to the point my hands shook a little. We agreed to show up on a date both dressed in black slacks and white shirts.

We finished coffee and I went to my place to prepare. I put two charged clean vibrators, bottle of lube and a bag of baby wipes for anal on a bedside table, threw a towel next to a bed, checked mixers in the fridge, and washed glasses. Everything was ready except me.

Closer to 2pm I showered, got dressed, swallowed 20mg of Cialis, drank a shot of whiskey, rolled a cigarette and walked to the venue. Midway Puppy texted me. She was already there, waiting for us downstairs.

It was ON.

I gave Puppy a hug downstairs and walked her to the rooftop where we sat at the table. We didn’t have lunch because I didn’t want to get her stuffed with the food when the plan was to get her stuffed with two dicks in an hour. I ordered a bottle of wine and three glasses: this is what we were drinking at the same rooftop bar during the failed MFM attempt.

I’d already told Puppy that we had an MFM date right there in the different corner of the same bar.

Black Ring joined us at 2:30pm and went into his talking mode. He talked and talked and talked. I was a bit hungry and I knew Puppy was too so I ordered some bar snacks and rolled cigarettes.

We had a smoke and the DJ started playing some lounge music at 3pm.

Black Ring pulled his mirrorless camera and took a picture of me and Puppy with a city skyline in the background. It turned out well.

Eventually the wine run out. When it did, I did a symbolic gesture of pulling the empty bottle from the ice bucket and said that we’d run out of wine and should go have another drink at my place. Puppy and Black Ring agreed. I rolled three more cigarettes with my shaking hands and we went downstairs around 3:30pm.

We walked for about fifteen minutes across the park to my apartment building, entered the lobby and took the elevator to my floor.

The whole thing started awkwardly, which I understand is common. I pulled a bottle of Soja and poured everybody a drink. Puppy had brought the bottle for me as a present during our previous encounter.

I pulled a vinyl record off the shelf and put it on a turntable. The TV was on, playing Fashion TV channel on a mute, although maybe my own homemade amateur pornography would have been better. I walked Puppy to the couch and brought three more drinks for us, stopped the turntable and put on a deep house radio station on a bluetooth speaker.

The awkwardness was in the air as everybody knew why they were there but nothing was yet happening. As a man it is my job to lead, though.

Eventually I started kissing Puppy. After a minute I stopped and told her, “Why don’t you kiss Black Ring?” She did. We were making out and undressing her. Eventually the clothes came off and she started giving us blowjobs. And here with all the nerves and awkwardness of the situation I just couldn’t get an erection.

We kept making out and fingering her until she announced her first orgasm. I suggested we all move to the bedroom, where I still couldn’t get hard and Black Ring just started fucking her. We didn’t have a playbook for this kind of problem. Eventually he figured it out and left the room, giving me and Puppy some one-on-one time. It worked. I got hard and fucked her for a while and Black Ring joined us.

This part is a bit blur. We took turns fucking her. Did some spit-roasting. All that jazz. My erection was still on and off. We took short breaks. Black Ring went to the kitchen and made some tea and brought coconut and chocolate biscuits to the bedroom. I brought some water. Sometime during this I told Puppy that we didn’t do the most fun part yet, while sticking two fingers in her; one in the pussy and one in the ass.

The lesson we’ve learned is to have water available in a bedroom because this activity drains body fluids.

Eventually Black Ring lubed up his dick and fucked Puppy in the ass while I was recovering on a bed. Then all three of us lied on a bed, Puppy in the middle with me on the right and Black Ring on the left (never cross swords). She started to give us a double handjob. It was spectacular. We both got hard. Black Ring looked at me and we both silently realised it’s time for a double penetration.

I wasn’t sure my erection was hard enough for anal so I immediately told Black Ring that I will do the bottom part, targeting Puppy’s front door. I lied on my back and put Puppy on top of me in a cowgirl position. Black Ring put his dick in her ass slowly and we started to move.

Puppy had her eyes closed moaning from anal pleasure or pain. Black Ring and I both started to tell her to open her eyes and look at us. When she opened her eyes, she had that out-there look, in another dimension, in the sub-zone. Later Black Ring told me he noticed this look multiple times throughout the scene.

We didn’t do double penetration for long. When Puppy got off our dicks, I noticed how red and swollen her clit was. We played for a bit more and then Black Ring put Puppy in a side position for a deeper penetration. I watched a bit and went to the toilet to take a leak. As I re-entered the bedroom, Black Ring was blowing his load on her face.

After Black Ring finished, I pulled a baby wipe and wiped a cum off her face, lips and a chest, although I didn’t do the trophy pic. It was my turn to cum. I put her in missionary position and fucked her for a while. Black Ring went somewhere and came back to my orgasm.

As he entered the room, I was blowing my load. I don’t know how and why it happened but it was a massive, competitive release. I just kept going and she was covered in my cum. I felt completely emptied.

It was probably a total of two hours fuck session, if not more.

We hung out in a bedroom for a little while. Puppy and I were hungry so Black Ring proposed a chicken dinner at a place nearby. We decided to shower and get dressed. Puppy went first followed by Black Ring. I went to the shower last. When I came back to the room, Black Ring was banging Puppy in standing doggy near the couch. She was already getting dressed and put on a bra and panties but he pulled her panties off and started banging her.

For some irrational reason, this scene threw me off my emotional balance. I didn’t feel like I could get hard after that massive cumshot, so I didn’t feel like I could participate. And, at the same time, I felt like he initiated the second round without considering me.

I felt like I needed to talk it through with Black Ring the next day during the debrief, which we did so we cleared that stuff out.

After a couple of minutes of fucking Black Ring pulled out and Puppy pulled her panties back on. We dressed, I rolled cigarettes, then we left the apartment. I called the Uber and we went to the chicken place.

Black Ring took an after-photo of me and Puppy and asked the waiter to take a picture of the three of us. We ate chicken and talked about random stuff, bringing the experience back towards normalcy. Puppy was in an awkward place. She was touching me and holding my hand under the table. Later Black Ring told me she was doing the same with him. She was trying to balance affection. Fantasy had become reality.

We finished dinner around 8pm and Black Ring ejected to get ready for his nightshift. Originally, I wanted to bounce Puppy to the bar and introduce her to my mate who’s DJing, but she looked drained, so I just walked her to the train station. On the way to the station she admitted the session was better than she expected.

Forty minutes later I received the text, “Thanks for today, fulfilled one of my fantasies that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time xx.” I immediately tried to schedule an aftercare coffee date but she couldn’t confirm she’d go to work the next day.

She didn’t go to work. I messaged her for a check-up and she seemed to be OK. I, on the other hand, wasn’t. I went to a massive emotional downswing coupled with an “impostor syndrome” kind of feeling. Instead of sub-drop, it felt like dom-drop. Who am I kidding? I just recently got divorced and only seriously started in a game less than four months ago and now I am setting up MFM threesomes and planning sex club visits with girls half my age.

Black Ring texted me Tuesday, asking if Puppy is showing any signs of bonding. I said no. Texting sessions with Puppy were really short. A ping, a couple of messages and logistical texting for a meet up. However, later that evening, as Black Ring predicted, the bonding texting started to happen. We had the longest texting session we ever had, sharing some deep and private things about each other. I took this opportunity to schedule a non-sexual coffee date on Thursday during the lunch time, as she was going to come to give me the full body massage on Friday after work.

On Thursday the downswing feeling went away and I swung back to my emotional baseline. I caught a train to the station close to Puppy’s work, where we met at the coffee shop across the road and had a basic chat. I put my arm around her waist and she held my hand.

I asked her if she was OK and she said she was fine but sore for two days and was daydreaming about the experience all the time. I moved close to her and whispered in her ear, “Remember that moment with two dicks inside you when we told you to open your eyes and look at us and you did? I remember that look. You were like in another world.” “Yes, I was,” she confirmed. After that she started asking me about things I like to do, in the sense of couple activities.

We kissed for a bit, I confirmed the Friday massage date and she walked me to the station.

I borrowed a massage table from Black Ring and set it up in my living room on Friday evening. On that night I decided to tune down the rough treatment and have more sensual sex with her. We did a long foreplay session. Making out for a long while. Lots of oral. Then she gave me a massage and l let her ride me on a massage table and banged her standing against the wall before finally fucking her in the ass.

Every time I told her to change positions, or gave other directions, she would reply with “yes, sir”. Eventually I told her she must open her eyes and look at me when she comes. She said, “yes, sir” again.  After she came, she told me it was really hard to keep her eyes open but she did. It was hot.

Then I told her “I am going to cum on your face,” she said “yes, sir” one more time. After I blew on her face, we lied in bed and talked. She said she wished her best friend was into older guys because we could have a foursome with her and a Black Ring. I banged her one more time. My dick was rock hard and I wasn’t on a pill, more proof my Sunday erection problems were purely psychological, caused by stress.

After we showered, we sat on a balcony cooking and eating Korean BBQ, drinking Soja, and shooting shit. She told me about her daddy issues that pushed her to become sexually adventurous about one year ago. And then she suddenly asked me, “What do you think about cheating?” “I cheated a bunch when I was married,” I replied. And then she said, “I have a boyfriend.”

She told me she was with him for two years and that she doesn’t even want to be in a relationship but is pressured to be in one by her social environment. She told me how she thinks he is monogamous with her but fucks hookers from time to time. And how he is giving her drama. And how she’s using him to practice her sex skills.

I had a suspicion that she just confirmed. I realised that I played my early frame announcement card just right. I told her that she lives her separate life which I am not going to interfere with. I won’t add her on Facebook or Instagram. I won’t message her on weekends or in the evening, instead she can message me at any time and then we chat. And I won’t enter her social circles.

At the end she mentioned that, considering all that, she is “trying not to get attached,” which means she is. She’s not a serious relationship material but still a very valuable woman. Attachment is also good, not bad, although non-monogamous attachment has its own challenges. Sex is amazing and I will continue to convert her into my sub and a sex club partner.

PS. Special thanks to The Red Quest for the guidance and for proofreading this report and to Black Ring for playing his part perfectly.