Intro: This teleclass was a mix of ideas from NLP (including timelines) and systems thinking. If you’ve never dealt with NLP before, some ideas here might make little or no sense to you. Good introductory book on NLP is “Introducing NLP” by Joseph O’Connor and John Seymour. Now, to the notes.
- Always have an outcome.
- Have sensory acuity to know if we are going there.
- Have enough flexibility of behaviour to get what we want.
- Take action and put it into practice.
If something doesn’t work, accept it and instead of applying more force to push it, do something else. Use the law of requisite variety. We need to do something differently.
Where do you beat you head against the wall?
We need an evidence procedure to know if something works or not. You need to have a short feedback loop to know if it’s working or not.
- Set your goal in positive.
- Have an evidence procedure.
- It should be something we have control over and can take action on.
Test a lot of thing and don’t get attached to something that is not working.
Efficiency, effectiveness and productivity MUST be measurable. Have a way to measure it. Have metrics you can MEASURE.
Do not confuse ACTIVITY with PRODUCTIVITY! Productivity is outcome directed activity. Only effective and efficient action counts. Only goal (outcome) directed activity counts.
How much of what I do is a meaningless activity?
Remember 80⁄20 rule. 80% of your results comes from 20% of what you do. It can be even 95⁄5 rule. Measure in your day what’s producing results and what’s not.
If you want to add something to your life, you have to take something out. It is what you are doing (also thinking and feeling) when you are not doing what you need to be doing if where the problem is.
What do you need to give up to get what you really want?
Task: Make a list of all the things in your life you are doing that don’t produce results. What do you need to do instead?
Side note: Put an elite team together using 80⁄20 rule. They will outperform all the competition. You need to know what creates results and focus more on it.
People can be in-time (perceive) and through-time (judge). In-time - in the moment, change plans all the time, chronically late, spontaneous but may be irresponsibly. Through time - on-time or early, have a plan and don’t like to deviate, they might lack flexibility and spontaneity. The ideal is to be flexible enough to be both in- and through-time situationally.
We don’t really manage time, we manage ourselves.
Effort - we need to put in effort. Effectiveness (do you have results?) and Efficiency (how well does it work?) are two ways to measure it.
If what you do isn’t working, the best way out it to STOP and do something else. Only productive activity counts.
Look at the environment you work in. If there too much change, we can’t manage well. It there’s a slow change, managing is easy.
Five stages of action.
Managers plan and forecast, organise resources (intellectual and emotional capital, energy, physical resources like money and assets), leading and motivating (lead and motivate yourself short and long term), coordinate and communicate (we have to interact with ourselves and other people) and measure and control (measure things, have evidence procedure).
Practice doesn’t make perfect. Only PERFECT practice make perfect. You must practice success successfully.
Communicate to everyone involved in regards to what you are doing all the time, over-communicate so everybody can reorient themselves. Keep communicating, what changes, how it is related to a bigger picture. But do it with yourself as well. Communicate with yourself too and reorient yourself in a changing world.
Wishing questions. What prevents you? What would happen if you did? Because all limitation do exist in your mind.
Wanting involves putting the energy and emotion into it. You need to imagine it in details and truly desire it. You’ve got to be totally committed. Perseverance is important and you will need energy to overcome resistance.
You must not do before you have a plan for activity to produce results.
There are four functions of planning.
- Establish our goals, objectives and mission. We must be very clear about it. Outcomes must we well formed. Stated in positive, have evidence procedure (sensory specific).
- Formulate strategy that will allow you to accomplish the goal. This is a sequence of actions that result in the achieving an objectives. Use short feedback loops to test actions out until you get to a strategic plan.
Scenario planning is defining a probable future and comparing it with a coming future and decide which scenario will lead to the outcome that you want. You define warning indicators in regards to the possible future that might happen and then you set up a monitoring to notice these warning signals.
Do it for yourself. What are the possible futures? What are the warning signs? What’s your contingency plan? What would be the sign it’s not working anymore?
- Implement a plan.
Most things don’t work exactly to the plan so you have to adjust.
- Evaluate a plan in regards to results. Is it working?
Many people sabotage themselves in the end.
Energy management in your body. You don’t really manage energy, you manage yourself.
Certain things bring energy and certain things take energy away.
Things that affect energy:
Mind and body are interconnected. Positive impressions bring energy and negative impressions take the energy away. Do not take poisonous impressions as much as you won’t eat poisonous food. Put a watchman at the gates of perception.
The #1 cause of the drain of energy are tension in the body. Tension is unconscious process. Relaxation is a conscious process. Learn to relax and let go of tension.
Become aware of your tensions. Yoga is good for recognising your tension by isolating muscle groups. Do a body scan exercise to let go of tension one part of the body at a time. Tension is contagious.
Breathe from the stomach for relaxation. Breath slowly (one breath pet 5-10 seconds). Lie on your back and feel yourself heavier and heavier to relax.
Change your internal dialog, change pictures and internal dialog tone voice to control your state and your emotions.
When your inhale your heart speeds up and when you exhale your heart slows down. By varying your exhalation and inhalation speed you can either pump yourself up or relax. To relax, inhale fast and exhale slowly. To pump yourself up, inhale slowly and exhale fast.
Put a mirror under your nose and you’ll see the ratio between one of the nostrils an another. Use neti pot in the morning. Inhale hot steam with eucalyptus oil and peppermint oil.
Don’t simply take away move-away strategies unless towards is present as a replacement or they might not move at all.
Emotional intelligence session. How do deal with emotions.
- How do you know what sort of emotion you’re having
- How to control your own emotions
- How to notice other people’s emotions
- How to influence other people’s emotions
Successful people have high EQ, not the high IQ.
There’s no school in a world that teaches emotional intelligence.
Passion is very important in informational products. Passion needs to come through.
Witnessing and telling your life story is what moves people. How you’ve had the same problems that your audience and overcome it.
Emotion is a matrix of sensations in your body to which you attach a label.
There are positive and negative emotions. Positive emotions give us energy and negative emotions drain energy from us (they are connected to tensions in the body).
Emotions are an ON/OFF switch. You either associated and are experiencing them or you are dissociated and is observing from emotions from the outside.
When we store a memory, emotion is attached to the memory.
Your turn ON or OFF both negative and positive emotions. You can’t simply switch off negative and switch on positive. Both are switched on or off together.
When now on the timeline is outside of your body you are dissociated. If now is inside of your body, you are associated.
You can step in and out of NOW. Develop this ability to get in and out of emotions. Notice how you name your emotion. What is the emotion?
How to control your emotions? Yes, you can; despite what current society thinks.
Insincere is someone who can control their emotions, WFT?
It takes time to wash out hormonal chemicals that come with emotions from your body so we need to have a guardian at the gates of perception and notice the moment you start to feel the emotion and take action.
Controlling your emotions:
- Accept a fact that you do have a control over your emotions and feelings.
- Emotions come from the tonality of our voice that indicates the feeling about the content.
- Emotions come from pictures. Do not take poisonous impressions in as they get recorded in your memory and can pop in into your consciousness automatically.
- Repress expressions of negative emotions.
- Express positive emotions.
Do decrease the intensity of all the emotions, push the NOW way out 5 - 6 steps in front of you (the further you push, the more dissociated you become). You can also try stepping to the side (left or right).
Stopping internal dialog or turn it down. You need to find an on and off switch (Bandler’s smash-the-TV metaphor).
By totally getting into the NOW you can increase associating.
Positive emotions can only be experienced in the NOW only (negative can exist in the past, like guilt; future, like anxiety; and present, like boredom). Remember to be happy, NOW. Remember to be X’d, NOW. “One day I will be happy”, doesn’t work. Think pleasant thoughts, have positive internal dialog with an upbeat tone of voice. NOW.
Positive emotion of love is inside of you and you control it so you can feel love whenever you want with whoever you want by choice.