After a few texts J. asked if we can chat on Facebook. I didn't know free Facebook plans on the phones are the reason the girls in Philippines prefer Facebook to any form of texting so I created a fake Facebook profile and we moved the conversation there the next day.

She kept blowing my phone with text messages and her selfies showing off her goodies (but no nudes). I asked her out for a drink when she broke the news that she works as a waitress in the sports bar and I should just come there and have a drink. I didn't mind a little adventure and decided to check out that bar.

Let me explain a little the hierarchy of bars in Philippines.

On the top of hierarchy is a posh bar in the resort or a hotel. They aren't much different from cocktail bars in Australia. On weekend they bring live music or DJs to provide entertainment.

Next you have a regular sports bar which is close equivalent of a pub in Australia. You have seats, big TVs with sport games, pool tables and occasional live music.

Then you have my favourite category, the bar with waitresses. This is basically like a sport bar but filled with a bunch of dressed up chicks whose job is to serve you your drinks and entertain you while you are getting pissed.

At the bottom you have go-go bars. They aren't actually bars, although you may go there to have a drink. They are whorehouses. You go there, have a drink with a chick you like, negotiate a "bar fine" and take her out for the rest of the night. From there you can just fuck her or use her as your "girlfriend" for the night and fuck her later. These girls have almost nothing in common with a typical Western prostitute except a job title. Most of them are normal chicks who just dumb, uneducated, got knocked up by some dude who run away or like to party, so they can't find any other job. You can game these chicks and if they like you, you can keep taking them out and banging them for free when they are not working.

I like this Asian concept of a waitress bar. In Sydney, if you want to get pissed, you go to the pub and sit there on your own, bored and looking like an alcoholic. In Cebu City, you go to the bar and you have a bunch of dressed up girls in makeup serving you beer and entertaining you. These chicks make peanuts and there aren't any tips besides lady-drinks, which is basically any drink at the bar at double price on which a girl makes a little commission. So, don't be an arsehole. If she's entertaining, buy her a drink as a tip.

J. worked in a waitress bar in Mango party area of Cebu City. It was a cool little joint owned by an Aussie expat who would come there every day and get on a piss until his girlfriend came and took him home. I sat at the table and chatted to the owner and a couple of other expats while sipping the cheapest SanMig Lite beer in town.

Eventually the band start playing good old rock music hits. J. couldn't get her hands off me and was entertaining me with her girly nonsense, only taking short breaks to perform her waiting duties. Eventually I bought a few tequila shots for her and me (or horrors, economics based provider game).

I left the bar around midnight while J. was on her waiting duties break from me without saying goodbye. Only a few minutes later my phone started to explode with messages from J. asking why I didn't wait for the end of her shift.

I actually ended up in a nightclub where I bought a table service for something like 70 dollars. Then I just sat there and invited three or four chicks to my table by just waving a hand at them. The music was booming and the nightclub got pretty crowded. I was pretty drunk so when some dark skinned chick grabbed my hand and showed it down her pants, it didn't seem odd. I figured out she's hooker and decided to mess with her. I told her, I want to go home with her and she produced a price. I lowballed the the offer to the ridiculous amount for the lolz. She didn't bite but kept monkey dancing around my table.

In about thirty minutes I raised a bid a little to the less ridiculous price but still pretty low. To my surprise she agreed. I didn't feel like banging a hooker but the deal was a bargain and she was pretty attractive so I went for it. Outside of the club she demanded I produce the cash even before the taxi arrived. I told her, it doesn't work like this and she can fuck off and returned to the club where I kept partying till the sunrise.

To be continued...